Even Broken Things Can Be Beautiful

Everyone feels broken at one time in their life or another. Many people feel that way their whole lives. We have heartaches and loses and traumas that seem to take over our lives, steal our happiness. We begin to live our lives waiting for the next hurt, instead of the next joy. We start to wonder if we deserved what happened and perhaps we even blame ourselves. We begin to feel there is something wrong with us, that we are broken by the things that have happened . To some degree, that may be true. But that’s only part of the process of becoming whole. Even broken things can be beautiful.

Some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen are stained glass windows in churches and Tiffany lamps. But what are they made of? Broken pieces of glass. These pieces are put together with strips of lead in beautiful patterns, often to make pictures. These pictures tell a story. Just like your soul. Yes, these scraps of glass in a multitude of colors can be beautiful on their own, but when they are reconnected they have even more beauty. They can convey a message of hope or love or tell a story of triumph or simply share the joy of their own beauty. Even broken glass can be beautiful.

But I am not broken glass, you say. I am a broken person, a broken soul. And I say even broken you can still be beautiful. You are just like that broken glass. You are a mixture of light and dark colors. Your smile, your laugh, your tears, your heartache, even your anger are like the different colors of glass that make up the whole picture. These pictures require all of the colors to tell the story, even the dark ones. Without them, they are not whole. It is only through embracing ourselves fully that our soul can be whole. It is up to you how to put the pieces back together, what story your soul will tell. The pieces of glass, like the pieces of your soul, are held together with lead. What we must discover then is what is our lead? With what can we hold our pieces together?

The first thing I will suggest is love. Love for yourself and for others. Not the kind of love based on naivety, that trusts blindly, but the kind that sees clearly and loves anyway. I’m not saying trust everyone or let them take advantage of you or even turn the other cheek. Part of this love is recognizing when someone or a situation is toxic to you and taking reasonable action to protect yourself and those you love. But this can be done while still having love for the person harming you. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel hurt or angry or scared, but you cannot act from this place without harming yourself, too. The kind of love you need is steeped in honesty, that recognizes your own responsibility for where you are and who you are, how these things have shaped you. The kind of love that exists, not in spite of brokeness, but because of it. Even broken souls can be beautiful.

A wonderful example of this kind of love is kintsugi, the ancient Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold, silver, or platinum. You may have seen the meme these beautiful pieces of pottery have inspired on the internet already. The cracks are highlighted instead of hidden. The philosophy behind this is that just because something is broken doesn’t mean it is useless. Even better, it is believed that the history of the object is so important and makes the piece what it is, so it must be highlighted and is beautiful because of its history. The pottery is considered more beautiful after it’s gone through this process. After the art form’s birth it became so popular that many people were said to break pottery on purpose just so it could undergo this transformation. Today, art galleries put them on display, including the Smithsonian. And for what are these pieces cherished? Their imperfections. Their brokenness. You are just like the broken pottery. What will be your gold?

The thing that struck me most about kintsugi was the gratitude and celebration of the imperfections and brokeness. Make gratitude your gold. Search through your life for things for which you are grateful. Search within yourself for the attributes for which you are grateful. Whether it be kindness, honesty, tenacity, what have you, find reasons to love yourself and ways to be grateful for who you are. Find these things in others, too. I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but that everything CAN happen for a reason. If you’ve been hurt by someone, be grateful for the lesson you can find in it. I promise there is one if you look hard enough. Give those painful experiences and hurtful people a meaning. Learn from it. Grow from it. You get to decide what the meaning is. Be grateful for that meaning. Make it your gold. Even broken pottery can be beautiful.

You may be thinking this is all great in theory, but what do I do with this now. A butterfly goes through four stages in its life: egg, caterpillar, pupa, and butterfly. In the egg stage the larvae form and emerge. The caterpillar stage is when they feed themselves in preparation for the pupa stage. The pupa stage is when they transform into butterflies. In the butterfly stage they create more life by laying eggs and pollinating. Most of you already knew that, but there are some things about some of the stages that you may not. During the caterpillar stage, a caterpillar will shed its skin four to five times and can grow to 100 times its original size. The pupa stage, during which the metamorphosis is occurring within the cocoon, can last anywhere from a few weeks to two years, depending on the species. The cells that become the legs, wings and other parts of the adult body are present in the caterpillar stage and the cells that make up the caterpillar body are used as energy in the transformation.

We are like the butterfly in so many ways. Like the caterpillar already possessing the cells that will become its new form, we emerge into this world with everything we need, we just have to wait until we are able to use some of it. Before we are ready to truly transform ourselves we must grow and shed our skin, or outworn ideas, identities, and emotions, many times until we are big enough and strong enough to handle it. After we transform into our butterfly selves, we create beauty in our environments by radiating it from within. So what can we learn from the butterfly? The first lesson I took is from the caterpillar stage. Feed your soul. Do something creative. Spend time with a child. Spend time with an animal. Go hiking or kayaking. Just get outside! Feel the rain on your skin. Write. Sing. Dance. Do the things that make you happy. Laugh. Revel in giving love. Give time to worthy causes. Be polite, even if you don’t feel like it or you think someone doesn’t deserve it. These are the things that will heal you and make you strong enough for a real transformation.

The pupa stage taught me that you have what you need to get through the tough spots in life, when all you want to do is close yourself up and be alone. It taught me that it’s ok to close yourself and be alone when you need it. It taught me you can use your past instead of being consumed by it. Another thing the pupa stage teaches is that each person should transform in their own time and it’s not a race, some transformations just take longer than others.

The butterfly stage really got me thinking about creating new life. There are so many ways we can do this. Once we’re transformed and coming from a place of love, we can spread this love, just as the butterfly spreads pollen. Sometimes just one simple act of kindness can make someone’s bad day better. Sometimes just a simple acknowledgement through a smile from a stranger can make someone feel like they matter. We can create warm environments for our loved ones where they know they will be accepted and loved as they are. Sometimes people don’t have a safe space like that. Sometimes the one you provide is the only one they have. More literally speaking, we can create music and art and dance and many, many other things to share our love and joy with the world and touch other souls.

If you’re still stuck in the caterpillar stage, continue feeding your soul and growing. If you feel stuck in the pupa stage, remember to use what you have, you are enough, and be patient. And if you have already become a butterfly, spread your love and share your journey. Be a butterfly. We all go through hard times. We all feel damaged and useless at times. We all have parts of ourselves we don’t feel deserve love. It is through accepting these parts of ourselves, embracing and celebrating them, that we become whole and can share our beautiful broken souls with the world. Broken glass can be beautiful. Broken pottery can be beautiful. Even broken souls can be beautiful.